December 22, 2006
You may remember that God allowed me to teach in China in 1991. Since that time, I have often thought and prayed about going back as a teacher (missionary) and have hoped to adopt a baby girl one day. Mom would always tell me that I would get married one day and have my own babies. You know me well enough to know that I have ALWAYS wanted to be married and be a mom. Santa Claus even brought me a wedding dress when I was about six years old because it was such a dream of mine even then. But now, at age 41, that has so far not been part of God’s plan for my life. (You can still keep that “marriage” idea on your prayer list please.)
On the night of July 17, 2004, I was coming home from a friend’s house and was listening to James Dobson’s radio program, which I do not usually listen to. The topic was on adoption and the testimonies were from people who had adopted from China. Well, I can only tell you that I cried the whole way home and sincerely felt that God was leading my heart towards adoption. WOW! Could this really be God or was it just me wishing?
I have spent the past two years sincerely praying about this! Asking God for His wisdom and discernment. I’ve researched adoption agencies and have had so many situations that I call “divine appointments” that kept bringing adoption to my mind. I am aware that I can NOT raise a child by myself if this isn’t the Lord leading me!!! Nor do I EVER want to get out of God’s will and reap the consequences of disobedience and selfish desires. I am filled with emotion as I write this because I want this so very badly and truly think that there is a baby girl in China that God wants saved to be a witness for HIM!!!!!! Maybe she could go back to China and be the missionary that I wanted to be. I have given this desire to the Lord over and over but felt that I must at least try to act on it and let God close the door.
I submitted an application to CCAI – Chinese Children Adoption International (www.chinesechildren.org) in early December of this year. To my surprise, I received a letter of congratulations that my application had been approved on Monday, December 18th. I don’t have the space to tell you how God worked on Tuesday to help me find the right agency/person to do my Home Study and Dossier (a mountain of paperwork that has to be translated and sent to China). On Wednesday, December 20th, I went to see a lawyer to seek help in reviewing all of CCAI’s agreement forms and to get his advice; and then that night on ABC’s World News, they had a segment on China’s new adoption laws and how they are closing the door to single applicants beginning May 1, 2007. CCAI had already told me about the changes in China’s adoption laws, but hearing it on the news made it so real. This may be my last chance to adopt as a single. Maybe God is allowing me a short window of time to do this. I must believe that God has opened this door for me, so on Thursday, December 21st, I mailed the first fee along with my signed and notarized agreement forms that will officially begin this adoption process. I realize there are MANY risks involved with an International Adoption, and that doesn’t even include the fact that even after China receives my Dossier, they could still reject me and I would lose all of the money spent to do this. If I do go to China and return with my own baby girl, it will truly be a miracle from God that only He can make happen!!!!!!!!
This is where I need you to pray, if you will. First, if you would please pray for God to completely close the door if this is not His will before I spend any more of His money to do this. Please pray that I will be able to get all of this overwhelming paperwork together quickly. Please pray that God will give me favor with CCAI, with Beverley Lewin (who will be doing my Home Study and helping me to prepare my Dossier), and especially pray for God to give me favor with the CCAA --- China Center of Adoption Affairs. Please pray I will hear God’s voice so clearly and that I will be obedient to stop the process if He tells me to. I humbly admit that I may be missing the will of God in this, and I do not want to step one foot out of His will!! I can’t do all of this without HIM!!
One final thought: The Lord gave me the following scripture verse when Mom was first diagnosed with cancer, and it has become my life’s verse.
“What would have become of me if I had not expected to see the goodness of God in the land of the living.” Psalm 27:13
I have felt a new HOPE in my heart this week that a long awaited dream might be coming true. God has truly been so very good to me, and He has provided for my every need. I give Him all the praise and glory for all He has and will do!!!! And I thank the Lord for YOU! I wouldn’t have made it through the past four years without the Lord and your love and prayers!!!!!!
If you feel that God would lead you to pray with me about all of this, please email me and I will keep you posted through email. I sincerely appreciate your prayers!!!! Know that I will be praying for you, too!!! Praying God will pour out His blessings from heaven in 2007!
Much love,
Gwen
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